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Thursday, 11 June 2009

  • Can't Bear to Be Away So Long

    Hey, what up, cubs and bears?  Rumors have been swirling about regarding the return of Xanga.  Well... the return of bloggers to Xanga.  Going back and reading old posts and getting all nostalgic, you can't help but wish to come "home" again.  That and I need a creative outlet.

    The evolution of a thought.

    Heading Home From Work 10 AM: "A man isn't a man until he's spent the night on the couch in his office"

    Revised thought:     "A man isn't a man until he's fought a bear."

    Twitter    : Bears are so gangsta but need to work on their image. Yogi, Smokey, Teddy, Care Bears, Winnie the Pooh been givin em a bad rap for too long.

    Xanga:

    What's up with bears? Bears are cool. They're savage, ferocious, beasts. How come all the famous bears are wusses? Yogi Bear, Winnie the Pooh, Smokey the Bear, Teddy, and all the Care Bears. If I was a bear I'd be furious that these were the guys representing me and all of Beardom. One of these guys steals picnic baskets and hangs out with a midget bear. One is an emo bear who hangs out with other emo animals and drowns his sorrows in honey. Another is just a tool with a stupid hat and another you cuddle with when you go to sleep at night. And the rest could have a full-fledged gay bear parade all by themselves. And what about that one bear who hangs out in your laundry and makes it all soft? Now, by themselves there isn't anything wrong with these bears but they definitely are misrepresenting their kind to the rest of the world. Kinda like when George W. Bush was our president.

    With these "soft" bear ambassadors how can bears get any respect from the rest of the animal kingdom. No wonder so many people get mauled by bears. We are conditioned to think that bears are these big, cuddly, soft, friendly things that we can go up to and just hug.

    Not the case. At least not yet.

    I was thinking, why don't we domesticate bears. How long did it take to domesticate dogs? Bears would be so much more useful to have around. They could help you move big stuff like your fridge or your broken down car. I would much rather have a bear protecting my house while I'm away than some lazy dog. If I had to go out late at night in some sketchy area I'd take my bear with me to protect me.

    "Rawr! Stay close to me, Jaems"

    "You bet your furry butt I'm staying close, Mr. Bear. We in tha hood."

    But then I suppose other people would bring their bears and it would just end up being a vicious cycle of bear violence. Bear on bear crime. It would be unbearable.

    So in conclusion, I suppose the bear community will have to endure this gross misrepresentation. All they can do is grin and bear it. As for those of us who wish to have domesticated bears, we will have to do without this luxury and get by with just the bear necessities.

Thursday, 07 May 2009

  • Twanga

    What up, gangsters and gangstars?  Sorry, I haven't been around.  I started a Twitter account.  Feel like it's blasphemy to say that here on Xanga.  I was Pulsing here for a while but Twitter is much more convenient.  Xanga needs a mobile app.  It's fun following celebrities on Twitter.  Anyone remember when Fred Durst had a Xanga (AmericanAlien or something like that)?

    Just thought I'd share my first 50 or so "Tweets" with you.  Enjoy!

       1. Made a sandwich but only had 2 expired butt end pieces of bread. Is that what orphans feel like? Gonna be a sad lunch. All crust sandwich.about 16 hours ago from TwitterBerry
             
       2. Nice lunch at Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem. Aftermath bad. Like giving birth to all the Flintstones including Dino. Dino was a fighter.2:54 PM May 5th from TwitterBerry
             
       3. Global warming? I'm no meteormologist but I'd say this is global colding. Least I'll be able to wear my Chippendales costume for Halloween.7:49 AM May 5th from TwitterBerry
             
       4. Maybe if our weekends were more satisfying we wouldn't hate Mondays so much. So I vote moving Mondays to Tuesday and making Sundays 48 hrs.8:14 AM May 4th from TwitterBerry
             
       5. Nowadays we are more conscious of how we act. Because if you act foolish you might end up on Youtube and everyone will know you're an idiot.1:36 PM May 2nd from TwitterBerry
             
       6. It's astounding, the number of fat homeless people in the US. Elsewhere poor people are starving. They must be jealous of our homeless.9:41 AM May 2nd from TwitterBerry
             
       7. Nyc horses have doo doo bags. I bet they get mad. "Why I gotta carry my stank doody everywhere?" Big horse diapers would probably be nicer.8:18 PM May 1st from TwitterBerry
             
       8. I realized I had finally grown up, after so much stubborn and hopeless childishness, when I started drinking Diet Cokes... for breakfast.4:17 PM May 1st from TwitterBerry
             
       9. Can you die from excessive sleep deprivation? That'd suck if you could. You think your body would just know to go to sleep instead of dying.1:15 AM May 1st from TwitterBerry
             
      10. Saw a cute girl from the building smoking outside. It was a turnoff for me. I don't know. She just looked weird holding a pipe.7:34 PM Apr 30th from TwitterBerry
             
      11. Babies smell like cottonballs. One might make a sweater out of babies if one wanted. I prefer to train babies to sell sweaters at Baby Gap.9:03 AM Apr 30th from TwitterBerry
             
      12. When you think about life you have to realize that things are the way they are for a reason. And that reason is probably you. Duh.11:42 PM Apr 29th from TwitterBerry
             
      13. Fell in love on the train today. A girl that makes you question your life. A beauty that's uncomfortable. Then I saw her Nike bag. Tacky.9:07 AM Apr 29th from TwitterBerry
             
      14. Bio-terror attacks involving swine flu filled pinatas are targeting children's parties. Advise canceling all non-essential birthdays.3:37 PM Apr 28th from TwitterBerry
             
      15. I wish I could punch through walls. In confrontations I could punch a wall to show I mean business. I could also save ppl trapped in a wall.9:18 AM Apr 28th from TwitterBerry
             
      16. Media has me worried about piggy fever. I am going to bathe my pig feverishly when I get home and avoid touching him with my eyes and mouth.4:01 PM Apr 27th from TwitterBerry
             
      17. Vacation lets you act irresponsibly and inappropriately and coming home is just an empty promise to make up for it. I want more pizza.2:54 PM Apr 27th from TwitterBerry
             
      18. Ever return from vacation feeling like you need another one? It's like taking a dump and getting that mysterious revenge dump minutes later.9:45 AM Apr 27th from TwitterBerry
             
      19. Are you an aisle or window seat person? What do you think it means? Bye Chicago!9:35 PM Apr 26th from TwitterBerry
             
      20. Contending with the maxim, the older you get the duller you are. And thus the question, buy the wallet with the lady and palm trees on it?4:19 PM Apr 26th from TwitterBerry
             
      21. I'm not really into small talk. I prefer something more substantial. Like big talk.3:41 PM Apr 26th from TwitterBerry
             
      22. Why is it so hard to explain "You had to be there" moments? I'd have a lot more jokes if those were easier to explain.2:12 PM Apr 26th from TwitterBerry
             
      23. How does Viagara know where to go? Map? GPS? "Make a left at the seminal vesicles" "Oops, I missed my turn, I'm in the butt"1:39 PM Apr 24th from TwitterBerry
             
      24. One of my best friends is getting married and I'm a groomsmen. Is it rude to twitter during the ceremony? I'm going to text him congrats.11:51 AM Apr 24th from TwitterBerry
             
      25. Chicago hotdogs have more "stuff" than ny. Overdoing things is a sign of insecurity. In other news I have lightup undies and 9 butt tattoos.10:23 PM Apr 23rd from TwitterBerry
             
      26. At the airport I don't know if I feel more secure or just very inconvenienced. Does that deter terrorists? "Forget hijack. Too much hassle"8:05 AM Apr 22nd from TwitterBerry
             
      27. If I had $1 for everytime I was asked if I knew karate I'd use the cash to take classes so next time I could say yes I do and kick some ass.7:17 PM Apr 21st from TwitterBerry
             
      28. Just came back from the dentist and my face feels fat. I wish there was a face treadmill.10:36 AM Apr 21st from TwitterBerry
             
      29. Fact: U.S. chicken wing consumption results in thousands of wingless birds each week. A chicken rep responded "It's ok. We can't fly anyway"11:26 PM Apr 20th from TwitterBerry
             
      30. I caught some lady's fruit as it fell off the counter at the deli. I thought, "Damn, now they know I'm a ninja. I should have let it fall"12:11 PM Apr 20th from web
             
      31. http://tinyurl.com/dx9986 . In the intro He-man says I'm the most powerful man in the universe then punches the viewer in the face. Why?!?11:56 AM Apr 20th from web
             
      32. I'm standing center court at MSG as players being announced for Jordan Brand Classic. Crazy cool!8:05 PM Apr 18th from TwitterBerry
             
      33. Working on Saturday can be disorienting. Like napping , waking up at night, and scrambling thinking you're late for work and why is it dark?9:34 AM Apr 18th from TwitterBerry
             
      34. Watching the original 1986 Transformers the Movie. So hype! What a different world it was when I was 8. Wonder what the cool toys are now?8:13 AM Apr 18th from TwitterBerry
             
      35. In what ways are you competitive?9:03 PM Apr 17th from TwitterBerry
             
      36. And your daily dose of 90's - http://tinyurl.com/d8qtq6 . How you like me now?6:18 PM Apr 17th from web
             
      37. The past - a nice place to visit but I wouldn't wanna live there. @johncmayer make your life more like 1983 - http://www.retrojunk.com/11:17 PM Apr 16th from web
             
      38. We wash our hands after we use the bathroom. Why don't we wash our butts? Japan is on to something. Until we get our act together.. wetwipes7:31 PM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry
             
      39. Editing a friend's wedding and watching ppl dance with much swagger at the reception. "Come on shake your body baby do that conga"5:58 PM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry
             
      40. I quit coffee for a while but I'm back and it feels like I'm home again. A smooth, rich, hot and steamy homecoming. Like undies after bball.5:19 PM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry
             
      41. Just found out I'll be going to San Francisco next month. I've never been. Looking forward to trolleys and all the rice-a-roni I can eat.12:27 PM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry
             
      42. I showed the mtv japan guy a clip of my friend smashing a egg for breakfast in japan. He said "Is that your friend? He's an idiot." Fail.10:30 AM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry
             
      43. What can I do to make mtv japan say "hey you should come back and work in tokyo with us"10:28 AM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry
             
      44. For a typical asian person in this melting pot of America, it's easy to get disoriented.9:53 AM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry
             
      45. You may not be interested in the mundane things I'm doing but you may be in the outrageous things I'm thinking. Jem. Truly truly outrageous9:49 AM Apr 16th from TwitterBerry
             
      46. I have a soft spot for cute Japanese pop stars. It's instant love like a pack of ramen noodles.6:49 PM Apr 15th from TwitterBerry
             
      47. Ghetto: Riding your bike in the rain, at night, holding an umbrella, and talking junk about your ex-girlfriend.11:23 PM Apr 14th from web
             
      48. @johncmayer Larry King plays California Games during commercial breaks. Larry King twitters from his calculator watch.11:22 PM Apr 14th from web
             
      49. The video we worked on in Tennessee is up: http://disney.go.com/index Woot, Miley! "I thought I was gonna crah!"5:59 PM Apr 14th from web
             
      50. a few hrs sleep + dramamine = gonna KNOCK OUT on this flight. Whooo!10:36 AM Apr 11th from web
             
      51. Heading back from Knoxville. Delayed in Charlotte. Final destination... Pell St., Chinatown.10:10 AM Apr 11th from web
             
      52. Everyone at the airport has a story.10:09 AM Apr 11th from web

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

  • Throwback Tuesday


    It's nice to reminisce:     http://weblog.xanga.com/jaems/21465735/item.html?

    Hi School!

    So I spent the past two weeks working at a high school down in Englewood, Florida.  It was a nice time and with this experience I made a few observations.

    -high school kids are pretty much the same as when I was in high school despite the ipods, cell phones, and the internet
    -i still dress like I'm in high school
    -i'm older than some of the teachers
    -it takes a special kind of person to work in a high school
    -i am not that special kind of person
    -i'm still not cool
    -i'm cool with not being cool
    -you learn a lot of useless stuff in high school
    -learning a lot of useless stuff can help you figure out what is important to you
    -my high school self is a lot more booksmart than my adult self
    -my adult self is a lot more street smart and common sense smart than my high school self
    -i thought I was really smart when I was in high school
    -i realize that I'm not that smart
    -im still trying to figure out a lot of the same stuff I didn't figure out when I was in high school
    -spending two weeks in a high school has helped me to figure out some of that stuff
    -i'm a lot more grown up around young people than I am around my friends
    -i still have a lot of growing up to do
    -why do young people want to be older and old people want to be younger
    -i don't feel much older than these high school kids
    -i am much older than high school kids
    -$5 at the arcade goes a long way
    -$5 at the arcade doesn't go as far as it used to
    -going to the library with friends to work on your report is fun
    -chatting with friends online while Googling info for your report is not as fun
    -the internet has a lot more info than the library and you don't need a ride home from it when you're done
    -kids still cheat on tests by writing answers on their hands
    -kids can be so dramatic
    -adults can be so dramatic
     -i wish I did more "stuff" when I was in high school


    Sporadic rainfall in Florida.  Catches you off guard like a broken lock on the restroom door at the Indian restaurant.




    Sweatin' to the oldies

    My coworkers and I started and ended the day on point: http://1015thepoint.com/


    Be easy... it's Throwback Tuesday

Saturday, 30 August 2008

  • Don't You Know That Things Go In Cycles?

    Once A Fool Always A Fool

    What is it about video cameras that make people act the fool?  I had to shoot some footage in Times Square today and in a short time dealt with the following:

    - Some guy asking me if I wanted to film his junk while untucking it
    - A street vendor wanting to fight me because he thought I was filming his table of "I <3 NY" t-shirts
    - An idiot honking obnoxiously and swerving dangerously close to me in his van while I was filming by the curb
    - No shortage of fools making stupid faces, waving crazily, and yelling into my camera lens while I was trying to film something

    Why is it acceptable to disrupt someone with a camera while s/he's working?  I've never seen other people working in public get hassled this way.  You don't see random people:

    - running up and strumming a street performer's guitar or banging on their keyboard
    - grabbing a traffic cop's whistle and blowing into it madly
    - grabbing a street artist's brush and repeatedly stabbing his canvas
    - grabbing the entire stack from the flyer guy and throwing it into the air, screaming triumphantly
    - running up to a breakdancer while he's doing a backspin and spinning him the other way or tackling him while he's doing a headspin

    What kind of pride and satisfaction is derived from making funny faces and yelling moronically into a camera?  If mom was watching the evening news with friends and saw her son acting the fool, would she proudly declare, "That's my boy!"  What if I was filming "When Idiots Attack"?  Why would someone want immortalize themself as a fool?  Thinking back to family vacations and other outings, I'm left wondering why there is always that one dumbass stranger who has to jump in and ruin a group shot.  I study those photos and burn the images of those A-holes into my memory so that if I ever run into them again I can say, "Hey remember that one time you ruined my family's picture at Disneyworld?"  Then I would punch them in the face and say "Bet you wish you got a picture of that" and then run away, laughing maniacally.

    The End

    PS.  I exhausted all my synonyms for idiot in this post.  I opted not to use nincompoop, nitwit, and simpleton because no one talks like that anymore.

    Kidding Around

    I stopped by a playground in Chinatown today.  Seems the like the kiddies are getting in their last bit of summer.  I have to admit I'm slightly bummed about summer ending as well.  Oh well, guess I better go shopping for my new bookbag, trapper keeper, and pencil case.

    BB Photography







    Get Up To Get Down

    Vegas Strip





    ...more to come


Saturday, 02 August 2008

  • Something To Talk About




    Another sign that the kid is growing up.  I'm gonna miss flipping that screen to chat on AIM like a 15 year-old girl worried about whether that hoodie at Hollister is sold out or not.  One time a producer asked me which teenage girl I beat up to get my phone.

    BB users PM me your pin so we can be chatrats.
    Everyone else -
    AIM: stilljaems
    Googletalk: jaemsmail


    Sidekick 3 - $250 with rebate from t-mobile 2007
    Blackberry Curve - $255 on eBay
    Almost losing 2 weeks worth of freelance work billing info and 400 + address book contacts, sustaining mild myocardial infarction, and dealing with accountability-evading customer service reps - Pricey

jaems

  • Visit jaems's Xanga Site
    • Name: Jaems
    • Birthday: 7/30/1978
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 8/21/2002
    • True

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